Death has been an old friend in my live for as long as I can remember and I have never been scared of him. I may not fear him taking me but I don't take it to kindly when he takes someone I care about. He's also the easiest way to explain how I feel about these things because I have felt his presence so many times.
Most of the time when people die, especially young people, we who are left behind feel helpless and lost. [I remember once when a friend's car was hit by an oncoming vehicle and it was the other driver fault. She was a recent graduate from high school with her whole life going for her.] We feel so out of control and lost. We tend to zone out a lot and drift off into space which essentially is just wondering around our minds and heart without purpose. [When she died people where shocked. Teens didn't know how to handle what they were feeling. It was mid August but they all found themselves flocking to the same place, a place of safety predictability. This place was giving them a sort of familial comfort. They flocked to the Catholic high school they had attended with her.]
These teens were emotionally lost and scared. One of their own had died. They did now understand the why, all they knew was that they were being pulled to the school. Do you understand the why? They were hurting, they were in an intense amount of spiritual and emotional pain. It was a Catholic school so they had theology everyday inside those walls. Everyday they were taught of Jesus's love for them and for Laura [their fallen friend]. Whether they realized it or not something had happened and instead of taking a destructive approach and abusing themselves or choosing to turn their backs on the world they had a need to be closer to the God who created them. They didn't want to be alone then, they wanted to be as close to God as they could, since they went to school 5 days a week and church only 1 day a week that made school the place to reach him.
That is my vision. That is what I hope to achieve. I don't care if people remember exaclty why they feel this drawing feeling to Christ and the church but I want them to have that feeling, especially in times where they are lost and wondering. All I am hoping for is that when they feel that way they begin to feel this feeling, this desire for God pulling them there to help them seek refuge in those times. I believe if we start by teaching the children of God's unending love and compassion for them at an early age its possible to make a significant impact in theier lifes. They then have a better chance of not turning to a desturtive path and if they do they know that God will except they back with open arms.
Laura and her brother William circa 2002
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