No longer acting out of hurt

Today was the set up and the rehearsal for the wedding. Wow. A lot happened today that I did not expect to happen and some I did. First I got lost trying to find the venue. (Okay I totally expected that to happen). When I got there most of the groomsmen and the groom were there setting up. I was nervous being with the groomsmen at first because I had a history with some of them. One I had only met once and seemed nice, another I dated for three years and he was now with another woman who was pregnant with his child, another used to harass me in high school and the best man & I used to fight with each other so often we used to have to be separated because we had been known to curse at and light the other on fire on several occasions. And those were just my problems with them, they of course had similar issues with each other. But we had all promised the groom we would be good. I was amazed with the level of maturity seven years and a mutual love for the groom brought.

There were greetings of friendship and laughter like we were all good friends. There was no mistrust. The best man didn’t flinch when I had a lighter next to him. Just as one groomsman was totally comfortable standing next to the other who had stabbed him while he used a box cutter. After an hour or two there were no hard feelings, everything negative thing we had ever said or done to each other in the past was forgotten by the person who was hurt. By the same time we had finished working today. We all noticed everyone who had been hurt at one point or another be pulled to the side by the person who hurt them.

At one point, the bride was having a bride moment where we weren’t doing things right. Those things happen but we were tired and needed a break. The guy who harassed me and made my life miserable in high school pulled me outside. We went behind a shed on the venue. I had no idea what he could possibly want from me considering today was the first time we had actually said anything civilized to each other in the who time we knew each other. He actually apologized. He told me he didn’t actually remember saying or doing the things to me that everyone else remembers him doing but he said he honestly knows it sounded like the guy he was back then. He said he was really sorry he acted like that back then and that he is not that person anymore.

Why did we act like that in high school? Why did he say and do those things in high school? He tried to look tough by doing those things. I, in turn, was not going to let myself look weak by letting that kid back then see he hurt me so I was mean too. All it did was spread violence, aggression and both of us trying to look meaner and angrier then we really were. Everyone else’s conversations ended very similarly today. I just can’t help but wonder just how many fights start for no reason like that? How many kids decide to do things they don’t want to do just because they are acting out of hurt feelings and aggression?